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by Tristan Taormino  Tristan Taormino is the author of several sensationally sexy and informative books including Down and Dirty Sex Secrets, Pucker Up: A Hands-on Guide to Ecstatic Sex, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. From college campuses to sex toy boutiques (not to mention The Howard Stern Show) she tours the country touting the wonders of anal sex and the overall goodness of sex in all its frisky forms.
You can visit Tristan at her official website, www.PuckerUp.com. - - - Rear Guard My Date with Howard Stern ¡°Did you have fun? Were you nervous? Did you mind being called a slut?¡± These were the probing questions asked in an e-mail sent by my friend Rich, a reporter for TV Guide, the morning after I was on The Howard Stern Show. I had been booked to promote my book, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, a fun, practical self-help guide. Since Howard is very vocal about his obsession with both lesbians and anal sex, everyone thought it was a perfect fit. Did I have fun? When I arrived at the studio at 7 a.m., the cameras were rolling. The radio segment is filmed for Stern¡¯s nightly cable show on E! Entertainment Television, and the producers like to include clips of guests as they wait beforehand in the green room. As I waited, Gary the Producer and other staff members asked me strange questions, such as: ¡°Would you have anal sex with anyone?¡± There was a live feed of the show in the room, and I could hear Howard teasing the listeners with my imminent arrival, referring to me as ¡°the anal sex woman,¡± ¡°the anal sex expert,¡± or simply, ¡°anal sex girl.¡± As soon as they opened the door to the studio, I was on the air. Although it was eight o¡¯clock in the morning, it felt strangely like midnight. Wearing his trademark sunglasses, Howard sat directly in the middle of the studio, behind a block of computer screens. Robin was behind glass in her own booth to the left of the guest area. Jackie the Joke Guy and Fred the Engineer were lurking behind stacks of equipment. Gary the Producer, Howard¡¯s assistant, and all the interns were frantically taking orders and hurrying in and out of the studio. It was chaotic, and more than a little difficult to get a word in edgewise. Was I nervous? A few weeks before my scheduled appearance, I began listening to Howard¡¯s show every morning before work and watching it at night on E!. I wanted to get a better feel for the show. In fact, that made me even more nervous, because each time I heard or saw a show, I thought, ¡°What am I getting myself into?¡± But I¡¯m glad I arrived with well-researched expectations. I expected him to try to guess my bra size, though I didn¡¯t expect a breast expert to actually guess wrong, erring on the side of voluptuousness. (The feminist in me was horrified at the objectification, while the late-blooming-and-flat-chested-until-I-was-17 girl was delighted.) I expected him to tell me to stand up so he could check me out: I didn¡¯t expect him to tell me I had a ¡°hot little body.¡± I expected him to ask personal, rude, and inappropriate questions; I didn¡¯t expect him to ask me how many people I had slept with in my entire lifetime. Generally, knowing what to expect made it easier not to make a big deal out of his queries. I simply answered them honestly, and moved on to my book. What was the biggest surprise? That there was someone else in the studio more nervous than I was: the radio station's general manager. Before I went on, Gary told me the words one cannot say on the air, per FCC regulations: fuck, shit, piss, cocksucker, motherfucker, cunt, tits. I was ready for those. What I wasn¡¯t ready for was Gary¡¯s next set of instructions for keeping the show clean (read: uncensored). ¡°You cannot refer to penetration¡ªvaginal or anal¡ªin any way,¡± he told me. ¡°Nothing can be in anything else¡ªlike, no penis in a vagina. Nothing can have been in something¡ªlike, ¡®My finger was in his butt.¡¯ You can¡¯t describe any act involving penetration.¡± What? How was I going to discuss my book without referring to penetration? ¡°Howard will lead you through it,¡± Gary assured me. ¡°You can say things like, ¡®When you¡¯ve experienced that type of pleasure,¡¯ or ¡®When I have pleasured someone in that way¡¯¡ªstuff like that.¡± I didn¡¯t know what to make of these supposedly helpful suggestions. I feared I would end up sounding like an uptight sexologist who couldn¡¯t even say the words written in her own book. I wanted listeners to know that the way I described things was restricted by the FCC and that I usually talk about sex in an honest, straightforward, accessible way. 
Except for one slight screw up (I said fuck without realizing it, and they beeped me), I thought I was doing pretty well. But then Howard asked me about positions for anal sex. ¡°Can I go through all the positions and their pros and cons?¡± I asked. ¡°No!¡± he burst out. During a break after the segment, I learned that the general manager had been freaking out, panicked that not only would this part of the show be censored, but Howard would be fined by the FCC again (he¡¯s already been tagged for over $2 million). I imagine that warnings such as ¡°Get off this positions thing now!¡± were flashing on Howard¡¯s computer screens. I didn¡¯t know about any of this scandal as it was happening; I just knew that Howard was being cagey and weird about the question of positions. This served as a reminder of just how taboo the topic of anal sexuality is. Not only is there still widespread misinformation, misunderstanding, and myth out there, but I¡¯m confronted with silence and censorship everywhere I go to promote my book ¨C even on The Howard Stern Show. Did I mind being called a slut? Howard can be really mean to his guests, and I knew that going in. I knew I shouldn¡¯t take anything he said personally. After all, it¡¯s his persona that¡¯s offensive and outrageous, not him. He was ultimately fascinated with the topic of my book, and approached me with enthusiasm and well, respect, insofar as he can respect any guest he has on his show. So I ended up having an even better time than I expected. Would I do it again? In a heartbeat. While all this was going on in New York, at the West Coast offices of my publisher, Cleis Press, the staff had arrived at 4:30 a.m. to answer the phones (Howard repeated the toll-free number for ordering the book several times, and Cleis anticipated some calls). They worked a 14-hour day, taking orders that came in almost faster than they could record them. So, whatever you think of Howard Stern, I have to give him credit for his huge and loyal following. Keep in mind that the mainstream media¡ªincluding the national queer media¡ªwon¡¯t cover this book. Because of the provocative nature of the topic, I have limited outlets to promote the book, and I¡¯ll take the exposure where I can get it. And besides all that, my mother called me from Long Island after the show to tell me that she thought I handled Howard quite well. Who would have thought going on The Howard Stern Show to talk about a book I penned on anal sex would make my mother proud? BROWSEby Lacy Stahl, a Review  Sex writer and editor Susie Bright put together an intriguing collection of novellas -- three short, sexy books under one cover called Three Kinds of Asking for It. The main characters of each story pretty much get what they ask for -- and the humor and wonder of the stories comes from the effects these granted wishes have on the characters' cravings. All three authors have a knack for off-handed humor -- the predicaments, the dialogue, all very witty and filled with the unexpected. And with the exception of Soloway's Jodi K, the authors sure know how to blend humor and insight with some damned evocative heat -- you don't know whether to laugh, think deep thoughts, or touch yourself. You end up doing all three, of course.
In Eric Albert's Charmed, I'm Sure, the main character, David, meets a smartass huckster witch at a party. She's selling bewitched sex slaves on demand, or more accurately she's selling a spell that "makes others extremely susceptible to your sexual commands." Witch Melissa Natrova promises David that the spell will work for an entire day to make anyone he chooses have sex with him, not to mention perform any other of his nasty imaginings. And since David is feeling a little broken after a bad break-up, he buys the spell and heads off to a day's worth of sexual gratification (of sorts). The "of sorts" is what makes this story so rich. Not to mention that it's very sexy and quite funny, especially whenever the witch is on the scene. "Does your smartass attitude ever cost you customers?" David finally asks witch Natrova. And her smartass reply is, "Not so's I've noticed. The service basically sells itself -- men'll do anything to avoid foreplay." When David goes to the mall, he has a field day -- or is that a mall day? -- for where else are you going to find so many somewhat willing sex puppets? (Come to think of it, there's a mall scene in Bending as well -- malls and guilty sex ... a delicious combination). Greta Christina's Bending (yes that is Adult FriendFinder's many-talented reviewer Greta Christina) starts with a woman named Dallas who can't get enough of sex, perversion, and sensation in the bent over position. The position is key. This, too, is a wet and witty tale -- the extremes Dallas goes to in order to accommodate her fetish are at first amusing -- she's retrofitted the furniture of her apartment for the optimum bent-over positions. And as the story progresses, it gets hotter, more intense -- in fact, it's a panter. And in some ways, brilliant. For example, by the time we're reading about the missionary position, Christina's managed to take this oldest position of the western world and make it feel transgressive and titillating. This is a testament to how deeply we get inside the character. And then the story takes a twist and a turn and we're suddenly confronted with very interesting questions about the nature of sex and obsession. What do we ultimately expect from sex? Both Christina and Albert puzzle over this, with a great deal of intelligence. The third story in the collection Jodi K, is a fourteen year-old's coming of age story more fit for teenage consumption than adult. In fact, I'm not sure why this tale is in the book. I suspect the story thinks it's making a statement about how writing can be erotic without containing graphic sex, but I didn't find it particularly erotic. Jodi has a crush on her best friend's Dad, Vincent. For pages on end, the girl goes on in Fourteenese -- "like so and ohmigod, he's so totally beyond or whatever" -- about how she simply has to lure the bald forty-year old into some form of intimacy. If you know how tedious a teenage girl's crush can be, you know that even her best friends get tired of hearing about it. I hate to say what I suspect -- that including Jill Soloway, who also wrote the popular and innovative HBO series Six Feet Under (I'm a big fan), smacks of marketing strategy. So I won't say it, but let's just call Jodi K good work in the wrong place. It goes without saying that depending on how fluid they are in their tastes, dominant het women (mea culpa) and fag-hags (mea culpa) won't find that extra crank for their yanks in this collection. (Though it's true, Albert's David hopelessly falls for the nastiest most dominant of pushy women). The gaze throughout is predominantly on the female -- female desirability, female sensuality, female openness, female on bottom, female on female. And with one notable exception, this female-as-fuck-hole bias is about the only way you could call the collection "safe." The exception is Christina's Bending, which covers all the bases when Jack (Dallas' former lover, now with a male lover) takes a very exciting turn as bottom. All in all, each story stretches the imagination and lets its sexuality break the rules in exciting ways. It's just the kind of decadent mischief you want to get your head into while giving your body a good workout at the Y. And with at least 2 out of 3 winners, you get a collection that's quirky enough, witty enough, fresh enough, and funny enough to exercise all your control centers at once. 
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